You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize