yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
