im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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