Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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