im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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