office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
