You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
