Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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