Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
