Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm getting married
To pizza
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
