Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
