Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
