And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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