jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
