4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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