morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
