Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
