I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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