dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
