A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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