I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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