I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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