he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
