And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
