It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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