the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
