Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize