I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize