I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
