Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
