Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
