I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
