Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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