the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
