Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
