It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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