i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
