What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
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he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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