this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
