I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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