Apparently you make a good broom.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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