I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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