i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
