She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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