I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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