i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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