I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
