at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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