that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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