I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
