who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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