my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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