we have officially lost it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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