Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
