Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
