Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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