dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
