I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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