My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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