There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
