he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she smelled like a LAN party
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
