I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
