He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
