No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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